I’m a Boy, I’m a Girl Now I’m Zero 

by Ben Jones

I think back to school
George, Tom, Dylan
They all had something in common
Which I had no access to
This instrument in my trousers
Looked like the key but
It’s a key that told lies
About me. 

I look to the girls and girlfriends
They too had something in common
Something which I could not access,
I compare me with the boys,
With the girls, with the boys
Nothing matches up right
I’m playing go fish with a quarter of the deck
The jokers have been shuffled in
And even they look confused
To me now. 

Am I one or the other? Am I one at all?
I feel surreal, an illusion
Whatever I am I am not a person
Like these other people
Whatever I am I haven’t seen me before
Whatever I am I am not the me I was
3 seconds ago
2 years ago
1 day ago
0 is my favourite number
Because it is neither plus nor minus.

Ben Jones (he/him), 25, born in Brighton is a brand new poet who has been using poetry to question his own gender and sexual identity. Follow Ben on Twitter @_petpolitics