Inquisition

I’m supposed to be grateful

that instead of being spat at,

I get the Gay inquisition.

These strangers think it’s ok

to ask who’s the man

and who’s the woman.

If I feign ignorance,

or say neither, we’re just “we”,

these strangers think it’s ok

to continue to push.

Who wears the trousers?

Who puts the bin out?

Do you own cats

and what about kids?

If I look offended

at your personal invasion

you touch my shoulder,

say your cousin is gay,

plus at least two

of your Facebook friends.

You insist you’re just curious,

not homophobic, oh no!,

as you ask what my folks said

when I came out, loud and proud.

Ask A Stupid Question

Very gay, but smartly dressed woman

stands under a smoker’s shelter,

toking hard on her cigarette.

Next to her stands a pencil-skirted woman,

long red nails, e cig

emitting a candyfloss scent.

“You don’t mind me asking, do you.

No, of course you don’t.

So what exactly do you do?

I mean, there’s no, you know,

*cough* willy there, is there, so

it’s not real sex.”

Long pause.

No response.

“So, have you ever been with a man?

I mean, how can you know

if you’ve never tried?”

Very gay woman turns

to her new colleague.

“Have you ever been with a woman?

I mean, how can you know

you’re straight

if you’ve never tried?”